Faith Based



		FAITH BASED A family, consisting of a mother, father, daughter and son, sit around a coffee table with a calendar in the middle MOTHER And on October 17th we have our annual pictures, which will be taken at the church this year. DAUGHTER Uhh! Why do we have to have pictures taken again?! MOTHER Because we need something to put in the Christmas Card. DAUGHTER Uhh! Why do we need to send out a card? You always make those so long! Nobody reads them! SON Yeah, nobody reads them. MOTHER If I stopped sending out the card, people wouldn’t know what you’ve accomplished! DAUGHTER I didn’t accomplish anything. SON Yeah, anything. MOTHER Don’t be ridiculous, you have plenty to be proud of! (to father) Isn’t that right? Honey? (The father is looking off in the distance, and merely nods while maintaining his gaze) MOTHER Then it’s settled. You did accomplish things. DAUGHTER Yeah, you wish. SON Yeah, wish. MOTHER Alright – last order of business. The dollar for the church donation bowl. (to father) Honey? (The Father does not respond, continuing his distant stare) MOTHER Uh, honey? It’s time for the donation money. FATHER Hmm? Oh – end of the meeting? In that case, I would like to make an announcement (rises). MOTHER Well, go right ahead, dear. (The Father eyes the Mother with a look of half scorn, half resolve) FATHER At work today, I came to the conclusion that I was a god. Not a major god, granted, but a god nonetheless. Here are your dollars. (The Father gives the children their money, regards them both momentarily, and returns to his gaze) MOTHER Uh, Honey? (The Father again eyes the Mother, only with a look of expectation and disdain) MOTHER Don’t you mean you found God at work today? FATHER No, I found I was a god. MOTHER Are you feeling alright? FATHER I’m more than alright; I’m a god. DAUGHTER (hitting the G) You’re not God. SON Yeah, not God. FATHER Of course I’m not. (beat) That’s god with a capital ‘G.’ I’m just a god. Lower case. DAUGHTER Then what are you the god of? SON Yeah, what of? FATHER Immediate influence. MOTHER This is totally ridiculous. FATHER Why? I control millions of possibilities (opens palm) right here. DAUGHTER What can you do? FATHER I can quit work. Lose income. Move out of this house. Take you and your mother with me. Leave him (motions to son) behind. Change the lives of every one of us. Immediate influence. (begins to sit) And I can also crush objects smaller than five inches across through pure thought (sits) MOTHER Maybe we should put the kids to bed. FATHER Shouldn’t they know the truth? MOTHER (whispered, frantic) I don’t want to do this right now. FATHER Why not? MOTHER Because it’s not the truth! FATHER You don’t think so? MOTHER Honey, please… FATHER Come about three and a half feet closer and I’ll prove it to you. DAUGHTER Dad, are you being serious? SON Yeah, serious? FATHER As serious as Christ, darlin. MOTHER How dare you use the Lord’s name in vain! FATHER Not any more it ain’t. Equal playing field. MOTHER I will not tolerate this any longer. Kids, come with me – your father needs some time alone. FATHER Where do you think you’re going? Don’t you realize you’re part of my immediate influence? MOTHER You can have this moment to yourself all you want, but I’m not going to have our children privy to your weakness! FATHER Sounds like you’re a non-believer. MOTHER Oh, just drop it! FATHER (extends hand) Take my hand, I will lead you. MOTHER I’m telling you, you need to stop it! FATHER These footprints in the sand, they’re mine. Follow. MOTHER I’m warning you! FATHER El shadai, more achi-em adonai. MOTHER If you don’t stop it right now, I’ll leave you! FATHER (drops his hand) What? MOTHER I said if you don’t stop right now, I’m going to leave you. FATHER (wounded) You can’t be serious. MOTHER I didn’t want the kids to be here for this, but you gave me no other choice. FATHER (beat) How could you do this to me? MOTHER How could I do this? You’ve been doing it to yourself for the past eight months! You barely speak, you do nothing for our children, you’re gone for hours at a time, and call it ‘cycling’ – I’ve had to support this entire family, with nothing more than a broken promise! How could I do this? You selfish son of a bitch! (The Mother goes to beat the father’s chest, out of desperation and exhaustion) MOTHER (through tears) You selfish son of a bitch. FATHER Shh…. (The Father embraces the mother, stroking her hair gently and caressing her head through her tears. Then, very abruptly, the Mother falls to the ground) DAUGHTER What happened?! SON Yeah, what happened?! FATHER She got too close. Crushed her heart. (beat) I am a vengeful god. (Both children look at each other, confused and frightened. Meekly, they each extend their donation dollars towards the Father) FATHER God Bless Us, Everyone. (Lights Fade)